Learn from the past...don't mess up your future.

Man I can be my worst enemy sometimes! I block a good thing called "Love." I am always trying to figure out why I am so scared of love (when it comes to loving and receiving love from a man). If we think about Freud, then I would say this goes back to the man that showed me love when I was little. Mmmmm........that would be no one. I don't want to blame my father, but I want to blame him. Sounds crazy right? He was the first man to not send any love my way, he was the first man to disappoint me, and he was the first man that I learned I could not trust.
Well, a few years ago, my father said to me "get over it!" Well now that I am 30 years old, I need to get over it and move on. I am going to mess up "real love" if I can't learn to trust a man. I've done it before and I don't want to do it again. I am going to learn from my mistakes of the past. Keeping my guard up and avoiding real feelings is not going to get me anywhere. Being paranoid and not trusting others, is not going to get me anywhere. In this new chapter of my life, I am going to pray hard and love hard. If I just trust GOD, then I know that everything in my life will be just fine.